'No one ‘owns’ a name': Stepmother forbids her pregnant stepdaughter to name her new baby ‘Olivia’ because she has the same middle name, drama ensues over a family miscommunication

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Mar 5, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Naming a baby is a challenging conundrum that, for some, comes naturally. But for others, new parents who overthink things or who never experienced a baby name revelation, the choice becomes overwhelming. 

This new mother in our next story had laboriously struggled with baby names for months, hemming and hawing over options, middle name combinations, and names that would evoke a positive memory. Finally, she had a lightbulb come on in her head and she was ecstatic, sharing a beautiful baby name option with her husband that would forever alter the course of their family lineage—just not how they expected. 

Keep reading to see how the simplicity of the name 'Olivia' drove a wedge between this woman's extended family, getting her caught between a rock and a hard place where no choice was made simple. 

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  • Cheezburger Image 10474406912
    via Sarah Chai

    (The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.)

    To be fair, names are quite personal, but when you're dealing with a legacy name of a person you only see once per year, consider this. Perhaps it's time to consider how often you'll be addressing your child with the name you chose instead of how many family gatherings will get mildly confusing.

  • "AITA for not immediately agreeing to my stepmom’s request that we not use the chosen name for our baby?"

    My husband and I have recently discovered I am pregnant. I'm about 10 weeks along. We've been so excited to tell our families and this week I told my dad and stepmom the news that we were expecting. Note, they live in a different country to us and so I told
    via PollutionWild4637
  • them while I was visiting the country on a solo work trip. They have been together for 10 years and did not begin their relationship until after I had graduated high school. They were both very happy to hear our news and the past few days we have been chatting about all sorts of plans
    via PollutionWild4637
  • for the future when baby arrives. Tonight, the last night of my trip, my stepmom shared that a few months ago she had heard me and my husband discussing baby names, specifically the fact that if it we had a baby girl we would like to name her Lia (Olivia as a full name, but Lia for short). My
    via PollutionWild4637
  • stepmom told me that as Lia is her middle name, she would not be comfortable with the baby having 'her' name and therefore requested we don't use it. I was taken aback by this request and asked her to explain a little bit more, and she just repeated that
    via PollutionWild4637
  • this name belonged to her, her family used it, it was a special name, and that she would not be able to call our baby by that name if we chose it. I am devastated as my husband and I loved this name. We of course don't know the gender yet, but have had this
    via PollutionWild4637
  • name picked out for a baby girl for months along with an accompanying middle name. We did not pick Lia because it was my stepmom's middle name - we do not call her by that name and even though her parents and siblings do, we are so rarely around
    via PollutionWild4637
  • them due to the distance so we hardly ever hear her referred to by that name. My dad also does not use it when he speaks to her. It honestly only occured to me weeks after we had settled on the name that it was also my stepmom's middle name, and I thought it nothing more than a coincidence.
    via PollutionWild4637
  • I asked for some time to think but I am inclined to decline her request as I don't feel like it is her place to dictate this personal choice for us. I feel like the choice of name is ruined now for us either way - if we don't use it to please her, I may feel resentful for making the
    via PollutionWild4637
  • concession and if we do use it, I'll feel like my stepmom will take it personally. AITA if I tell her that while I appreciate her being honest with me, I can't promise that we won't go ahead and use the name we've had picked out for a while?
    via PollutionWild4637

  • After hours of scouring the baby name books for the perfect nomenclature for your spawn, it would be pretty disappointing to receive a full stop notice from your in-laws across the pond. 

  • Mommabroyles NTA but why can't step mom just call her Olivia if she has such an issue with it. As for what you call your possible daughter, that has absolutely nothing to do with her and you don't even live in the same country. This is why parents need to keep baby names to themselves until the kid is here. Everyone thinks they get a say.
    via Mommabroyles
  • toosheeptheorist NTA - no one "owns" a name. Name your baby, and call them whatever it is you want. Stepmom has no say in the matter. Think about how many kids were named Brittany, or Jennifer, or have the middle name of Lynn. She doesn't have to call your baby by your chosen nickname if she does not want to.
    via toosheeptheorist
  • Euphoric... NTA. This is your baby and you love the name. That it happens to be your stepmother's middle name that some of her family of origin call her, but that she is not known by in your current immediate family, means she has little valid claim to keep it to herself.
    via Euphoric
  • If it were the one name she was known by, and you and your father called her, it might be different. But asking you to stay clear of using her middle name makes her the AH.
    via Euphoric
  • One girl I know is Olivia, and she goes by Liv. Just a thought. Kids like to change up their names in their teens. You can give them a great name and a nickname, and they will end up going by something else later on. Use the lovely names you've chosen. Your stepmother will adapt.
    via Euphoric
  • badatcatchyusername no one better name their kid matt or matthew cause thats MY middle name see how silly that sounds, olivia it is! congrats also!
    via badatcatchyusername
  • lex_tall623 I don't think there's an AH here. It reads to me like the step-mom knows that using the name "Lia" wouldn't technically be naming the baby after her, but would be using her name and she doesn't feel comfortable.
    via lex_tall623
  • If you want to use the name use the name but I do think this is a situation where the step mom's feelings should be considered, especially if people call her Lia.
    via lex_tall623
  • Starbeets Soft YTA. if you do this, prepare yourself to hear this a lot from people who know your step- mom's nickname is Lia - "Oh! You named your daughter after her grandmother! How sweet" "No, actually we weren't honoring her, its just a coincidence." "Oh."
    via Starbeets
  • I share the same somewhat unusual first name as a famous singer, for Reddit's sake let's say the name is Dolly. It is always a little awkward when I meet someone who is a big fan of Dolly Parson and they get excited because they think I must be
    via Starbeets
  • named in her honor, and then I tell them "no actually no one in my family is a Dolly fan, its totally unrelated" and I can see they are a little crestfallen or embarrassed. Your daughter will go through this
    via Starbeets
  • routine every time she meets someone who knows her grandmother as Lia. "No actually I'm not named after my grandmother, its just a coincidence..."
    via Starbeets
  • MelnSC40 NTA, but start keeping your mouth closed. People are going to have opinions about everything you say regarding your baby. You will make your life a lot easier by keeping it all to yourself until all Is said and done.
    via MelnSC40

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